“The Government has given the go ahead for the purchase of 58 more F-35 Joint Strike Fighters (JSF) at a cost of $12.4 billion – making it the nation’s most expensive Defence asset.” (ABC News, 23/4/14).
Reasons to Spend $12 Billion on Fighter Jets
- Saves on medical bills – less Viagra needed by politicians and military top brass.
- Loud, fast, impressive flypasts at motor races
- Avoids arguments between bureaucrats about whether to spend the money on health or education
- Sounds really impressive in speeches – sexy words like ‘strike’, ‘JSF’, ‘fighter’, ‘f-35, ‘hornet’
- Exciting daily rides for large numbers of Australians – well 58 of them at least
- Wonderful vote of confidence in those great, great people in the armaments industry
- You can get somewhere really fast – if you’re on your own, a qualified F-35 fighter pilot and the ‘somewhere’ is an air force base or aircraft carrier
- Got to love those vapour trails
- Easy to park – can fit into just 4 normal car park spaces *
- Gives lots of our money to a really needy country … the U.S.A.
- Stimulates jobs … in the U.S.A.
- Shows how independent we are from everybody (except the U.S.A.)
- Scares the shite out of boat people when you fly really low over them
- Big boost to the sales of plastic model aircraft kits and glue
- Video stores get increased demand for rentals of “Top Gun”
* car park spaces must be at the end of a 750 metre runway
You know it makes sense.
© Mike Hopkins 2014