Poem a Day 2015 #7 – Last of the Bush Poems

Poem number 7 for April 2015. I’m not a fan of bush poetry, or at least not in large doses. Next week (Wednesday 15th April) I’m a guest poet at “Poets and Platters” at Langmeil winery in the Barossa Valley. I suspect the audience may be bush poetry fans, so I thought I’d better write something which will appeal to them. This is the start of a bush poem which I will do more work on, and hopefully deliver next week.

Last of the Bush Poems

A poem needed writing

for to please the winery push

and my usual stuff looked wanting

they might think a load of tosh

so I looked for inspiration

laid some thoughts for incubation

and I sought for information

on the poetry of the bush

First I grabbed an old akubra

then I dropped me accent posh

And I drank til in a stupour

and neglected for to wash

I dragged out some corny punchlines

about sheilas, poofs and waistlines

and I read up all the guidelines

on the poetry of the bush

So I bought a new Land Cruiser

You won’t catch me near a horse

Then I bought a new computer

Wikipedia is the source

Of all my information

About swags, and sheep and stations

Coz I get the palpitations

When I’m in the bloody bush

I drove down the supermarket

To stock up on bush supplies

I bought string and corks from Target

for my hat to ward off flies

softest swag and new Drize-a-bone

gas powered fridge and satellite phone

I was well prepared to leave home

to write poetry in the bush

When I reached the wilds of Salisbury

Well my nose began to bleed

Gawler’s fields were scary

And I saw some sheep stampede

So I stopped at Gawler Oval

Pitched my swag and asked some locals

Where’s the nearest comfy hotel

That serves beer here in the bush?

… to be continued

Copyright Mike Hopkins 2015

5 thoughts on “Poem a Day 2015 #7 – Last of the Bush Poems

  1. Very funny but they may scour at you – they are pretty civilised in the Barossa – it’s the metro in between that needs an axe.

    • Ha. having done a similar gig in McLaren Vale, they seem to love bush poetry in the wine regions. anyway, i’ll mix it up. Give them (and me) enough wine and it’ll go well.

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