According to a not very reliable website I read today, humans are different from animals in 15 ways. These include crying (really?), farting (I know that’s not true because I’ve smelt dog farts and heard elephants fart), hiccoughs (maybe), blushing (likely), shaving (obviously), pins and needles, risk taking and daydreaming (how would we know).
I started this poem as a list of those ‘weirdnesses’, and then turned it into the record of one side of an interview. I’ve given it the number 1 – the inquisition may continue.
How long since you last slept?
Have the hiccoughs always been this bad?
And when did the tears begin?
Have you measured their volume?
Do you usually blush this easily?
And this shade of red?
Why did you take the risk?
Now that you are here, do you think it was worth it?
How did the pins and needles start?
Why did you laugh so hard?
But nobody else did. Why do you think that was?
Do you usually kiss her on the mouth?
What about that particular morning?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is the pain?
When did your ‘personal’ problem surface?
Did it affect your relationship?
What about the deformity?
Why did you blink at that question?
What was your daydream about?
Was it in 3-D?
Which side of your face do you usually shave first?
Wet or Electric?
How long since you last had sex?
Man or woman?
When did you realise you were the only survivor?
Are you glad?
© Mike Hopkins 2014