Poem a Day – 27 – Insulting

I’ve committed to writing a poem a day for the month of April as part of National Poetry Writing Month.

27^th April

When running short of inspiration, there’s nothing like an insult to get the brain moving. Thankfully, I don’t know anybody who deserves this:

Insult Poem

Your face is like a bag of boils

your hair is like Medusa’s coils

your feet are like two fishing boats

your skin hangs like an empty coat

 

Your brain must be extremely small

it rarely gets much use at all

thinking’s not your cup of tea

you’d rather stroke your vanity

 

Never seen when things get tough

avoiding blame, inventing stuff

supposed crimes and violations

Machiavellian machinations

 

Your face is like a wrinkled prune

oozing puss like a seeping wound

your teeth are yellow, your breath smells foul

your voice evokes a banshee’s howl

 

You dwell in cracks and under rocks

you’re welcome as a dose of pox

emerging in the dead of night

to seize your prey, inflict your bite

 

You’re welcome as a plague of mites

you’re known to give us all the shites

a rocking horse is more astute

you’re as appealing as a newt

 

So now you know the state of play

this is the parting of the way

before you lift your arse to flee

prithee, what thinkest thou of me?

 

copyright Mike Hopkins 2012