Poem a Day – 27 – Insulting

I’ve committed to writing a poem a day for the month of April as part of National Poetry Writing Month.

27th April


When running short of inspiration, there’s nothing like an insult to get the brain moving. Thankfully, I don’t know anybody who deserves this:

Insult Poem

Your face is like a bag of boils

your hair is like Medusa’s coils

your feet are like two fishing boats

your skin hangs like an empty coat


Your brain must be extremely small

it rarely gets much use at all

thinking’s not your cup of tea

you’d rather stroke your vanity


Never seen when things get tough

avoiding blame, inventing stuff

supposed crimes and violations

Machiavellian machinations


Your face is like a wrinkled prune

oozing puss like a seeping wound

your teeth are yellow, your breath smells foul

your voice evokes a banshee’s howl


You dwell in cracks and under rocks

you’re welcome as a dose of pox

emerging in the dead of night

to seize your prey, inflict your bite


You’re welcome as a plague of mites

you’re known to give us all the shites

a rocking horse is more astute

you’re as appealing as a newt


So now you know the state of play

this is the parting of the way

before you lift your arse to flee

prithee, what thinkest thou of me?


copyright Mike Hopkins 2012

11 thoughts on “Poem a Day – 27 – Insulting

  1. Wow how romantic. Oops no. I meant insulting. That’s a seriously great list of insults there Mike. Kind of a cross between Shakespeare and Blackadder. Or maybe just Blackadder, actually! 😉

    My poem a day is up now. No insults, just a story.


    • Blackadder is up there with Shakespeare in my estimation, so I’ll take that as a compliment: “make love and be merry, for tomorrow you may catch some disgusting skin disease”

  2. This is so darn clever! I’d almost be honored to have this many creative insults directed at me. Only because I appreciate the effort, not because I’m masochistic. I’m not, really. 😀

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