Poem a Day – 25 – Oasis Translator

I’ve committed to writing a poem a day for the month of April as part of National Poetry Writing Month.

25th April

Another something completely different, inspired by a friend’s experiences on the Oasis dating site:

Oasis Translator

Oasis Talk: “I’m looking for a soul mate to share my life, to hold my hand, to walk with me on sunset beaches, to love me unconditionally”
Translation: “I’m a narcissist. This is one of my less dangerous delusions. Believe me, I have many more”


Oasis Talk: “Little extra weight”
Translation: “Finalist in The Biggest Loser


Oasis Talk: “I am what I am”
Translation: “I am a slob and have been told so on numerous occasions”


Oasis Talk: “I’m down to earth”
Translation: “I talk in cliches ad nauseam”


Oasis Talk: “I’ve been through the school of hard knocks”
Translation: “I talk in cliches ad nauseam”


Oasis Talk: “I graduated from the university of life”
Translation: “I talk in cliches ad nauseam”


Oasis Talk: ”39 years old”
Translation: ”49 years old”


Oasis Talk: “49 years old”
Translation: “59 years old”


Oasis Talk: “I’m not a fitness fanatic”
Translation: “I’m a couch potato”


Oasis Talk: “Sorry you’re not my type”
Translation: “I get off on rejecting people”


Oasis Talk: “I’m a professional person”
Translation: “I have a Jim’s Mowing round”

copyright Mike Hopkins 2012
Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Poem a Day – 25 – Oasis Translator

  1. Oasis Translator- pure magic! The first line and last lines are my favourites…made me laugh 🙂 Thanks, Mike.

Please tell me what you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s