Poem a Day – 24 – Politicians

I’ve committed to writing a poem a day for the month of April as part of National Poetry Writing Month.

24th April

And now for something completely different. This one comes with a language warning.

Things you never  hear an Australian politician say:

I’m not sure.

I am racist, and ….

Yes, I am a chauvinistic pig.

Compassion is not a dirty word.

Yes, I did have sex with that man.

Yes, I did have sex with that woman.

Why would we want to be like America?

Yes, we faked the story to win the election.

I think many people are willing to pay more tax.

Morality can fuck off, power is more important to me.

I am compassionate, but I have to hide it to keep my job.

The economy can fuck off. Morality is more important to me.

I am pleased to award the Australian Father of the Year award to Mr. Terry Hicks.

No, we felt it was more important to be honest than to appeal to the redneck vote.

I will refer the matter to some real experts, and I will do exactly what they recommend.

No, most of us are not doing it tough. Most of us are in clover compared to many other countries.

I’m doing this because 5 billionaires took me out to dinner and promised some very large donations.

Yes, I do keep repeating the same old slogans, over and over and over. It’s because I really have nothing worthwhile to say.

I know there is no evidence to invade, but every time I think of war I get an erection. In fact, the only time I get an erection is when I think of war.

My wife loves me dragging the family out for a photo-shoot every time I’m in trouble – it’s the only time I hold hands with her, and kiss the children.

copyright Mike Hopkins 2012
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5 thoughts on “Poem a Day – 24 – Politicians

  1. Ooooh MH this is a serious swipe; love the vitriol, so many great lines here! I also love the way the piece is shaped. We start off with only a small statement that they don’t say, to large tracts of honesty that are never uttered. Great stuff! 🙂

    http://jenniferliston.com

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