Poem a Day #19 – St. Fiacre

Posted: April 19, 2014 in NaPoWriMo, poetry
Tags:

Saint Fiacre

 

 

After yesterday’s dark and heavy subject matter, something much lighter. There are patron saints for almost anything you can think of. There’s a patron saint for those who fear mice, for convulsive children and for mad dogs. One of my favourites is the Irish Saint Fiacre, patron saint of taxi drivers, sufferers from sexually transmitted diseases and piles.

Blessed Saint Fiacre

Gentle healer, solitary forest dweller

collector of herbs, mixer of potions

patron saint of taxi drivers,

sexually transmitted diseases

and those afflicted by haemorrhoids

 

had you known then ,

what taxi drivers would become

would you have taken the job?

 

To be patron saint of overchargers,

short changers,

‘scenic routers’,

know- all bores

and “you’ll never guess who

I had in the back of me cab yesterday”-ers?

 

and when you decided to

remain celibate,

to exclude women

from your chapel,

to turn female transgressors mute,

did you imagine your name

forever invoked

by syphilitics and gonorrhoea-ites?

 

When you first laid hands

on someone’s piles

did you not think twice?

 

Did you not hope

for a better gig?

Even ‘lost causes’

ribbon makers or  truss makers

would be better than

patron saint

of sore arseholes?

 

© Mike Hopkins 2014
About these ads
Comments
  1. russpoet says:

    I can’t imagine you could lay hands on someone’s piles and *not* think twice.

  2. Rob Walker says:

    Blasphemous. Disrespectful. Fucking funny.

  3. Jen says:

    Haha Mike. OMG seems to be the appropriate remark here. :-)

Please tell me what you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s